Dear ugly lumpy blue thing on my much overdue spring themed embroidery,
I don’t even know who you are anymore. You certainly didn’t start out this way. First, you were a lotus flower, big and proud. But your petals looked like seaweed and you were a hideous orange color that didn’t match. I ripped you out. Next, you became a cattail like plant, purple and green, matched perfectly with your twin on the other half of the hoop. But you were droopy and your constant pity party drew too much attention away from your flowery sisters. I ripped you out, too. Now, you are an ugly lumpy blue “tulip,” and I hate you even more than your predecessors. You are not a tulip. You aren’t even a flower. Your “petals” are lopsided ovals and there’s an empty space where your stem should be. You obviously have no respect for personal space, the way you crowd the other flowers. You alone have been holding me back from completion, but I won’t stand for it anymore. I will rip out your stitches, erase you from my memory and start again. In your place I will put a simple leaf, extending out from a nearby plant. And maybe then I will be finished. Please don’t take this personally. The rose next to you could be next. It’s clear I’m not meant to make pretty, happy things.